Thursday 19 November 2015

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Halflings...

June 23, 3430, Age of Kings

As Grabby arrived home at the cottage it began to rain. The exhausted, shamed, hung-over, rain-soaked, muddy, naked (he may have eaten his cabbage loin cloth at some point) and love stricken halfling walked in, and threw himself face down on the rug by the smouldering hearth.

Sitting nearby, Ander tried his best to ignore the whining halfling that was complaining about his heartbreak to anyone who would listen (no one). After vomiting into the fire place, Grabby picked himself up and decided he would attempt to win Audry Wachs (we'll call her Miss Wachs to avoid confusion). After calling out Miss Wachs' name several times, this of course awok Audrey from upsatirs who then came down to see what was going on.

Over the course of breakfast—and Ander fashioning a burlap sack into clothing to cover Grabby's shame—Grabby convinced the others to help him get back his belongings. And he would also hope to win back Miss Wachs' affections.

They set out after breakfast and made the hour long trek to West Leedshire. Grabby's first stop was to pick up some clothing—the medieval fantasy equivalent to Gap Kids. Grabby then devised his plan: Ander and Audrey would go past Miss Wach's townhouse to she i she was home while Broak and Grabby stayed out of sight down the street.

Still raining, Ander and Audrey approached the door and saw some halfling-sized leather armour, clothing, and other items piled in the wet, refuse clogged gutter—but his weapons were not present. Carefully tying the wet mess together into a bundle, Audrey knocked at Miss Wachs' door. Eventually Miss Wachs opened the door, perplexed as to why a burly north-woman and an elf would be calling. Audrey confronted her about stealing Grabby's belongings which quickly escalated into Audrey punching Miss Wachs in the face. Seeing the assault, three bystanders ran to Miss Wachs' aid to see what was going on, one of them quickly ran off to get the local watch.

After a tense standoff while Miss Wachs struggles to try to close the door on her assailant, two memebr of the watch and a sergeant showed up to break up the scuffle and determine what was going on. Demanding to know why Audrey struck a defenseless citizen, the watch demanded Audrey and Ander drop their weapons—this did not go over well with Ander.


Ander threw the soggy belongins at the sergeant a brief, but non-lethal melee broke out between the watch and Ander and Audrey. Seeing they might be overwhelmed, Ander cast a magical fog over the area, obscuring everything around them in a thick, white fog.

Despite not be able to see one another, the melee continued on between the five of them, and Miss Wachs was finally able to slam shut her door. At one point, the sergeant gained the upper hand and managed to force Ander onto the ground and pin him down in attempt to place manacles on him.

Watching this from down the street, Grabby decided to rush in and help his comrades, while Broak approached from a back alley. Groping blindly, Grabby manged to find his things and even deliver a shocking grasp to one of the watchmen.

While fog shrouded melee carried on, Broak decided to break in through a side window into Miss Wachs' home in hopes of retrieving Grabby's things. Seeing a dwarf smash a window and crawl in, Miss Wachs—naturally—began screaming hysterically. Not wanting to draw any more attention the situation, Broak made an attempt to silence the terrified woman by slamming her over the head with butt of his hammer in hopes of knocking her out. It worked a little too well: he rolled a critical. Miss Wachs fell to the ground unconscious with a bloody gash across her forehead, and due to the arcane nature of his weapon, Broak succumbed to its power (he failed his Wisdom saving throw).

Out on the street, those involved in the street fight could hear the terrified screams of Miss Wachs inside, suddenly cut short, then immediately followed by another, more Dwarfish scream. Broak fell to his knees screaming in emotional agony as he relived that fateful killing blow so long ago. Eventually composing himself  and wiping the tears away from his cheeks and beard, he set about ransacking the home in hopes of finding Grabby's things.

Outside, amid the dense fog, Ander managed to squirm free of the sergeant's grasp and crawl his way out of the fog. Audrey easily evaded the other two guards and ran head-long into a wall before finding her way out. Grabby, with his gear in hand, also managed to feel his way out of the fog. During this time two more watchmen arrived from the south side of the street and couldn't see through the fog and could only hear the angry yells and the confused state of their allies within. Audrey fled through back alleys and met up with the filth-caked Ander, both unaware where their two allies were.

Meanwhile, Grabby disturbed by the horrific scream that came from Broak crept down the space between the two townhouses to peer into Miss Wachs' home, which had a broken window on the first floor. He peered in to see Broak (who had just finished scouring the home and come up empty handed) and Miss Wachs—slumped and motionless with a face covered in blood against the front door. Broak forced his way out the window after convincing Grabby Miss Wachs was just unconscious.

By this time some of the watchmen had organized themselves and started moving out down the back alleys to make their way around the mysterious fog. Just as Broak had pulled himself out the window and was standing next to Grabby one of the watchmen passed by the alley and saw the two standing there—curiously close to the melee that had just occurred. Without hesitation—and the quick thinking worthy of a 90s action film—Grabby grabbed Broak by the face and said, "Quick! Kiss me!" Disturbed by the sight of a dwarf and halfling kissing passionately in a dirty, rain-soaked alley, the watchmen simply yelled out, "'ey! Get outta there!" They had avoided the watchman successfully, and perhaps taken their friendship to a new—and most likely uncomfortable—level.